感动天感动地

一开始我以为
爱本来会很容易
所以没有经过允许
就把你放心底

直到后来有一天
你和他走在一起
我才发现
原来爱情不是真心就可以

我感动天感动地
怎么感动不了你
明明知道没有结局
却还死心塌地

我感动天感动地
怎么感动不了你
总相信爱情会有奇迹
都是我骗自己

以为自己不再去想你
保持不被刺痛的距离
就算早已忘了我自己
却还想要知道你的消息

20th July 2008 Leaving on a Jet Plane

The first thing that we do when arrived at the airport is to check in. It was a long queue. Thus, I suggested him to hand carry instead of checking in his luggage.

He said : "You sure this can be hand carried ? Its kind huge."

"Yeah, why not? I've seen others carried much bigger than yours."

Then we walked to the no luggage check in counter, which was like 2 people queuing there.. After checked in, we went to down stair for Kenny Roger.

After ordered and while waiting for our meal to be served,

"No sure when we will meet again after this." I said

"Don't worry, it will be soon."

"Yeah right. Last time you said the same thing, and it took about one and a half year for us to meet again. Besides, if not because you are coming for the conference, I guess I will have to wait for few more years."

He laughed and said : "Yeah, but I can choose not to come you know."

Of course I know.....I said it to myself.

At some point, we didn't talk much. I just looked at him and didn't know what to say. Even though I have many many thing to tell him. He looked tired. He is slightly meatier than two years back but still, very adorable. At least, for me.

After some simple chat and photo taking, it was about time for him to boarding. At the boarding gate, I gave him a big and tight hug. I really wish not to let go and hug him like that forever. Watching him walking in the boarding gate is the hardest thing. When he finally disappear from my sight, my tears just fell down uncontrollably.

Actually, I didn't know why I crying for. I am not sad as when I left Kuching year ago, but I just felt like crying. As hard as I could. I really don't know why.

Perhaps he is the something that I've been trying hard to hide deep inside me that can never be touched, Perhaps, its the unbearable pain that I don't want to think of or trying to forget finally hit me again ? Perhaps it is the regret and sadness that we cannot be together......Perhaps, I still love him as much as the first time we met. Perhaps, I know, this is the last time that we met.....

I don't know..... Perhaps..my tears said it all.

20th July 2008 The last day

Even though I slept kinda late last night, but I woke up and 7a.m. After freshing myself, I went directly to airport to get the air ticket for him. Luckily, there was still seat available, so I got him a 8.30pm flight.

When I arrived at his hotel, it was already 8.30am and I gave him a call, but no answer. I called again after 5mins, still he didn't pick up. Guess he was still asleep. Thus, after I parked my car, I went up to his room to look for him.

Standing in front of his room, 314, I gave him a call again before I decide to ring the door bell. Not luck still, thus I pressed the door bell for few times.

"Ding Dong ! Ding Dong ! Ding Dong !"

As expected, he was just woke up. After opened the door, he went back straight to the bed and lay down. I asked how was he doing ? He said he has feeling better.

"Are you still having fever?" I continued.

"Hmmm...not sure."

Then I laid my hand on his forehead, checking the temperature. It seemed normal.

It took him about an hour for him to get ready including packing his stuffs. While in my car, he said,: "Let's go to buy the air ticket first." I didn't tell him that I've already got the ticket as I told him we will go together to get it last night.

"No, go for breakfast first. I am hungry." I was trying to make fun out of it.

"Let's settle the ticket first. How if there is no ticket available later ?"

"Then, just stay here for one more week." I laughed.

"Don't worry, I've called MAS big boss last night and he will ask someone to send the ticket to me later." I continued.

He was like..."yeah.....right!" Still, I don't bother him that much and drove to Gurney Drive for Bak Kut Teh. At there, I showed him the air ticket. He smiled and returned me the air ticket money.

"No, just keep it." I told him.

"No, it is expensive." He said.

"Its ok. You keep the money. After all, you need to spend while you were in Korea. Just buy me some souvenirs then. "


After breakfast, we went to Hong Leong Bank at Beach Street as he said he needs to do some banking.

When he saw me getting the umbrella, he asked why I need it for ?

"Just in case" I said.

After about 5 to 10 mins, he is done with the banking thing. When we walked out from the bank, it was raining. Then he turned to me and smiled.

"See, luckily I am here. " I smiled happily and opened the umbrella at the same time. Then, under one umbrella, we both walked toward MayBank. On the way, he said, : "Don't just take care of me, look at you, you are getting wet."

"I am alright. I am strong. Beside, you just recovering from fever, thus you can't get wet." I said.

It was pouring. Just like the day I left Kuching.

"The day I left Kuching, it was pouring too." I told him.

After that, we just drove around as I really don't know whether to bring him.

"Why not we go for a movie?" He suggested.

"Ok, but why not you said it earlier ? We were around that area just now." I sounded a bit unhappy.

"How would I know where you wanna bring me ? I thought we are going somewhere but now only told me you have no place to go already." He said.

"What movie you wanna watch then ?" I asked

"Hmmm...not sure what are they showing. Let's go and check out."

Then we went to Gurney Plaza. When I was trying to park my car, the packing lot seemed a bit too narrow for my car. But I insisted to park in it.

"Stop ! You are going to scratch your car already." He shouted. But I still keep trying.

"Stop ! You not going to make it. You know how close is it to knock your car ?" He shouted again.

Then he continued, :"Why can't you listen to me ? you not going to make it this way, unless you reverse park"

"Ok, ok. I just thought that I could make it, calm down." Phew...it was really close to knock my new car. Luckily he was there to shout at me.

Inside the Gurney Plaza, he asked me.

"Do you have coins ?"

I was wondering why he needed it for, but I didn't ask and gave him some.

Then, he walked toward the wishing well, ( the donation box ) and put the money into it. He then smiled at me and looking at the coins rolling into the hole at the same time. Guess he really the idea of the donation box.

He was amazed by the cloud of the people. As it was totally different from what he saw and felt when he was here two days ago.

"This is more like it. Now I can feel the shopping complex mood." He said.

"I've already told you. That day was working day and it was in the afternoon. Now you see what I mean."

"You know what, I actually told my colleagues not to come when they said they wanted to come here. I told them it was boring and not much people here." He laughed. I really don't know what to say.

After bought the 2.15pm movie ticket, we just walked around as it still has about 30mins before the movie start. The movie we watched was Journey to the Center of the Earth. Hmmm...not making any sense but kinda entertaining. We bought a popcorn for sharing though.

It was still raining after the movie. Again, we were just jolly around because have no idea where to go. When we passed by a bakery stall, he ordered a cheese favor one. After he tasted a bite, he then passed it to me.

"Don't want." I said.

"Why?"

"Don't you know I don't take cheese?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry... but this don't taste cheese at all. Try it." He insisted me to try it by tearing a small piece for me and try to put into my mouth.

"No, I don't want."

I continued,:"Now I know you never think about me."

"Come on, I just forgot, I didn't mean it." He was trying to explain.


When we were somewhere near G-Hotel, I pointed to the buffet restaurant and said, :

"I have a deal with my friend, he will buy me a dinner there if I were managed to loose weight until I was 76kgs."

"Don't" He said. I didn't really know what he meant or trying to say.

"Why not we go check out the G-hotel? Thought you always wanted to have a look?" I suggested

"Sure, but its raining still. "

"Come on, this rain not going to kill you."

Then we both ran toward the G-hotel back entrance, which is just beside Chilis. This was also the first time I went inside G-Hotel actually. It is really elegant, modern and nice.

It was about 5.00pm, still have about two and the half hours before he needs to check in. So, we decided to find something to eat before we headed to the airport. After some discussion, we decided to eat Japanese food. So, I brought him to Penang famous Japanese restaurant at EQ Hotel, Kampachi. I've tried few time there, really not bad even it is a bit expensive.

However, bad luck as it was still early when we reached there at 5.30pm while the restaurant only operating at 6.00pm.

"So how, do you want to wait or go to eat at the airport?" I asked

"Do we still have time ? How long it take from here to the airport?"

"The airport is not far away, but it will be a bit rush though."

"Hmmm..then we go to eat at the airport." He sounded a bit disappointed.

"But there is nothing much to choose from at the airport. The best that I can think of is Kenny Roger." I said

"Its ok. We can sit and chit chat. No point of rushing."

"Sure?" I confirmed with him one more time.

"Yup!"

Before leaving to the car park, I showed him around a bit, including Equinox, the gym club that I am joining. He was caught by the view from the hotel. Its really nice view, the golf field, the apartments, the sea, the Penang bridge....etc. He took some pictures there.

19th July 2008 Night

I received his sms around 9.30pm,

"Can you come and pick me back to hotel. I am not feeling well. The bus only arrive at 11.00pm."

Thus, I quickly get change and rush to him.

When in the car, I asked, : "Are you feeling ok ?"

"Yeah, just headache. I just need some rest ."

"I will send you to see doctor first before sending you back to hotel." I said

"No, don't have to. I will be alright . He refused.

I expected this is coming as I know he hardly want to see doctor even when he was real sick.

So I insisted, :" Just listen to me for one time ok ?"

"You are going to Korea tomorrow, do u want to go sick ?" I continued.

"Ok, but I don't want to take medicine, just ask the doctor to give me injection, ok ? He said.

Then I drove him to a 24hours clinic at Tengganu road, but the doctor refused to give him injection. He seemed disappointed.

After came out from the clinic, I asked him, :" Do you need to get some to eat ? or at least buy some bun or porridge, in case you are hungry later."

"Its ok, I am not hungry and do not have appetite." He said.

"You sure ? caused you didn't take much just now at the dinner."

"Yeah, I am alright."

"Just make sure you don't take medicine with empty stomach ok ? It will become worst. I did that once last time and vomit for the whole night." I reminded him.

"Really ?"

"Yeah, anyway, I noticed your room have complimentary biscuits, just eat some if you are hungry ok?

"Ok, I will."

On the way sending him back to hotel, he said, :" I think I probably will take 12pm something flight to KL tomorrow "

I was confused, :" I thought you said your flight is 6pm something ?"

"Yeah, but I checked last night, it is full. Only left 12pm flight."

"What ?! I thought you have confirmed everything before you came. Why so last minute ?" I really don't understand why.

"Errr....I don't know."

"What time you are meeting your friends at KLIA and what time is your connecting flight to Korea then? I asked

"They will take 8 something flight from Kuching, expected to reach KLIA around 10pm."

"Our flight to Korea is 1 am midnight." He continued.

"Then you want to wait at KLIA for like 10 hours ? What you are going to do there ?" I asked

"Besides, you are sick. What if you need to sleep ? How about your luggages ?" I started to worry about him.

"Hmmm.....what to do ? I have no choice. Air Asia flight only have 12pm and 6pm." He said.

After thinking a few minutes, I told him, : " Don't worry, I will try to think of a way."

Before sending him off,

"Rest early. Don't forget to take your medicine ok ?" I reminded him.

When I reached home, I instantly login the net and checked for the flight schedule. Then I received his sms saying that he will just take 12pm + flight, due to its only available and suitable.

I told him not to worry as I am checking MAS air line for him as I don't want him waiting alone at KLIA for that long. However, MAS needs 48hours in advance booking, then I told that we can go airport to buy the ticket tomorrow morning.

That night, I can't sleep. For I know, tomorrow he will be going away. After that, I know, most probably we will never meet again. I started to miss him already, I am kind of down, kind of sad....

19th July 2008 - He was sick

Today, I didn't have to pick him for breakfast as he was having his company conference at Pisa. So, I have the whole morning myself, even though I wish I could spend the time with him together. When I was about to sms him to ask him how the conference goes, then I received him which asking me where is USM & bukit stadium. I know where USM is, but where the hack is bukit stadium ? Never heard of it in my 20 over years I stay in Penang.

Thus, I instantly called a few of my friends and checked. None of them know nor heard about it. Then, he sms me again. "Its bukit jambu complex." I was like errrrrr... really don't know what to say.

Later, he called and asked me to pick him at Pisa as he didn't want to join the function at USM & BJ complex. Without taking my lunch, I took a quick shower and rush to pick him. It was about 1.30pm when I reached there, but he said he is meeting a client which introduced by his Kuching friend and asked me to wait for a few minutes.

About 30mins later, he called, : "I am done. Where are you ?"

"At the main door of Pisa main function hall."

"Ok, I come and look for you."

After a min or 2, still no sign of him, so I called him, : "Where are you ?

"Couldn't find you la, where are you ?" He said

"You tell me where are you better and I come look for you."

But I still couldn't find him, then he called again. haha. It was too funny.

"Where are you le ?" he sounded abit impatient already.

"I couldn't find you as well la."

"Did you see our company buses ? Wait there."

"Ok. Are you trying to play the fate game with me?" I laughed.

But when I run to where the buses were, still no sign of him. So, I decided to stand up high at the middle where the fountain is. Because from there, I can have a better look at all around, and he can easily see me too. Still, my eyes keep searching for him somewhere I thought he might be. No luck still. When I was about to give up and turn away to search somewhere else, there he was. Walking slowing down from the stairs.

Only then I know, I was waiting at the main gate at the ground floor while he was waiting at the main gate at second floor. Hahaha.

After mumbling to each other, I asked, : "How's the meeting with your client just now? Is everything ok ?"

"Yeah, he signed it." He said with smiley face.

"Well done." "Hmmm....you can buy me a meal later. hehehe." I continued.

We then stopped by his hotel first for he needs to shower and changed. He looked tired after he came out from the shower.

"I do not feel well out of sudden, headache." he claimed.

"Perhaps you were too tired."

I was wearing red polo T with jean, while he was wearing pink polo T with jean. So matching. hehe.

Then, I brought him to Penang most famous Char Koay Teow at Lorong Selamat. There were many people and we had to wait for about half an hour. I ordered a special one with additional prawns for sharing. He liked it a lot.

He didn't talk much though. Guess he really sick.

"Where else you plan to bring me ? If possible, bring me to buy some Panador and send me back to hotel. I really not feeling well." He said.

"Ok. but do you mind if I stop by one-stop shopping center to get something ? I will make it real quick." I said.

So, we drove there and I quickly grasped the external hard drive that I wanted, and went to Pharmacy and get his pain killer.

"Why you need so many external hard drive?" He asked.

"To keep the movies that I downloaded from the net." I answered.

"If its porn, just say it."

I just laughed without answering him.

When reached his hotel, it was already about 4.45pm.

"Get some rest" I said. Then I drove home.

At around 5.30pm, I sms him, " Wake up yet ? Feeling better?" No reply from him.

At 5.45pm, I called.

"Wake up, its almost 6pm. Your bus is coming soon." I said.

"Ok."

18th July 2008 Part 3

At 10.00pm, I reached Trader hotel, but the entrance was blocked by his company's buses. I tried to call him but cannot get through. Thus, I sent him an sms telling him that I was waiting at behind the buses. Within 30sec, he showed his face.

"How was the dinner ?" I asked once he was in the car.

"It was alright. Buffet style. Everyone is standing as as not enough place to sit."

"It ended so early, no game or anything?" I asked again

"Got, karaoke."

"Did you sing ?" I purposely asked even I know he won't. He told me before that even he went karaoke with friends, he won't sing as well.

As expected, his answer is no.

"So, where are we going now ?" He asked.

"Hmmm....do you mind if we go find something to eat ? Caused I haven't taken my dinner yet, kind of hungry."

"Ok."

Then we went to Gurney Drive as there got many hawker foods to choose from. We ordered Penang Laksa for sharing, he ordered "chi le" (its a kind of sea shell family) and xi go teng, and I ordered fried chicken skin, sotong and soya bean.

After dinner, it was around 11pm plus, then we were just driving around Penang, showing him the night side of Penang.

"Two years ago when we started to know each other, you told me that you will try to clear your debt in a year time. Now that 2 years has passed, and you are earning double more than 2 years ago, why you still owe so much credit card debt ?" I asked

"I know you have a lot of burdens, but you need to try to save some each month for your future. Time flies you know." I continued.

"Its hard though. You should have know my situation and lot of unexpected expenses." He said

"Yeah, I know, but I can settle my 7K credit card debt in few months, why can't you ? You are earning as much as me, sometimes even more. If you really plan properly, am sure you can do it."

Then, I listed out a few way of how I save money when my pocket is tight.

"I didn't ask you to clear all your debt in months time, but try to save money at the same time. You have quit smoking, so there will be additional RM200 extra per month. Where is that RM200 go ?"

"Errr...don't know....." He said

"Your debt have been burdening you for years. How much longer you want this to burdening you ? Don't let me worry about you. Besides, I can't always be there for you..."

"I thought you are partly a financial planner, you can't even plan for yourself. How you going to convince your customers ?" I joked at him.

"Whaha, of course they won't know about it." He laughed.


Around 12 a.m. plus, we reached at B-Suite. Then he said,

"Oh, I forgot that I need to buy mineral water." He said

"Ain't the hotel got complementary one for you ?"

"I've finished it last night already."

"Ok, we go buy then, I need to fill my petrol anyway. But I need to take a puff first." Then I came out from the car and had a quick smoke. He then came out too, stand beside me and chit chatting.

After that, we went to the Shell station nearby to fill my petrol and at the same time, he went to buy his mineral water. While I was still filling the petrol, he jokingly hit me at the lower part with the bottle a few times and the last time really hit me real hard. I was in pain and he looked sorry.

Then I said, :" If that part no longer can function, and I couldn't find a partner, you will have to be mine and take care of me for the rest of my life." We both laughed.

After sending him back to the hotel, it was already about 12.30am.

18th July 2008 Part 3 Shopping II

While driving up on car park of Pragin Mall, he was complaining, :

"What kind of car park is this ? It goes round and round and make people feel dizzying. "

"It seems dangerous too." He continued.

I told him most of the car park in Penang design like that. We have get used to it.

While in the complex, he saw a Paparoti store and said he wanna have one.

"I thought you were saying that you are full and do not have appetite ?" I was looking at him

"Just want to try. It has been awhile since I last had it. We share."

The bun tastes awful. It was hard. Guess it must be yesterday left over. Damn. Thought of walking back to the store and throw the bun back on her face. What an irresponsible store.

We continued our shopping and he finally found the working shoe that he wanted. Then, he spotted an ice cream store and ordered a green tea ice cream for sharing. I just took a bite and told him to finish all as it tasted too milky.

Then we continued our shopping at Queensbay Mall.

"This is more like it. You should have brought me here at the first place." He said.

"I've already told you earlier how Queensbay mall like, and you said it was ok not to come. Now you are mumbling."

"How would I know. It totally different from what you've described." Errrrr......

His colleagues were there too, but they were at toilet bow restaurant. They even snapped a photo of the restaurant and MMS to him. Hmmmm....no comment here.

He got himself a vest which he wanted to find long time ago at GAP store. While passing by the diamond store, I started to "manja" again by asking him to buy me a diamond ring, as I did earlier at Gurney Plaza.

"No way, too expensive. Hmmm....maybe 5 years later, I will." He said.

"Ok, I will wait for 5 years."

"Whaha. but it will only be a tiny one."

"Its alright. A ring full of tiny diamonds." We both laughed at the same time.

Then we went to Heart of the Dragon to have Xiao Long Pao. After that we continued our shopping.

Around 4plus, I suggested that we should sit down and have a cup of coffee because he wanted to have coffee since early this morning and also, I was kinda tired. I am not a shopping guy.

Then, we went to Old Town, ordered two glasses of white coffee and a set of bake roti for sharing. It was very sweet of him to take out the butter in it caused I cannot take any dairy products.

At about 5.10pm, one of his colleagues called, " Where are you ? Still don't wanna come back ? Ain't you know the bus is picking us up at 5.30pm sharp for dinner ?"

"Damn, I totally forgot about the time. Can you send me to the dinner place ? Cause I need to go back and shower first."

"Certainly !" I was more than happy to do so.

Then we left Queensbay mall, back to his hotel. It took him about half an hour to get ready. He was wearing shirt with the purple vest that he just bought this afternoon. It really looks good on him.

On the way to Trader Hotel, where his company dinner at, I showed him where my office located. The traffic was bad, well, what to expect, its Friday and its Penang.

"Don't rush, its ok even if we are late." He tried to calm me down as he saw me kept looking at my watch.

"Then we go have our own dinner first and I drop you there at 9 pm." I said jokingly.

"That's too late. Cannot."

"Don't worry, we will be there on time." I assured him.

At 6.45pm, we reached Trader.

"Call me after your dinner." I told him before he was about to get out of the car.

"Sure."

"But please let me know a bit earlier so that I would time to get ready."

"Are you picking me up here or hotel ?"

"Both are fine with me. Up to you though."

"Ok."

"Enjoy your dinner, see ya tonight."

Then, I drove back and took a short nap caused I was kinda tired.

At 9.30pm, I received his sms, " Where are you ? "

"Home. What time you will be finished ?"

"Me finished lo"

"Where do you want me to pick you up?"

"Trader. Come now.."

"Ok." Then, I had a quick shower and speed to Trader caused I don't want him to wait too long. Also, I can't wait to see him again......